


Ready?

by jacquelee



Category: Old Kingdom - Garth Nix
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 15:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13126296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacquelee/pseuds/jacquelee
Summary: With a new golden hand and about to go into death with the Abhorsen for the first time, Lirael still has doubts and insecurities.





	Ready?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Lands_of_Magic](https://lands-of-magic.dreamwidth.org) on dreamwidth for the prompt Beginnings.

Lirael was grateful that she had been given the new hand and it was a true work of art, but there was this gnawing doubt in her. 

Did she even deserve this? A new hand, a golden Charter hand, to replace the one that was lost. In a way, her missing hand had been a constant reminder of what else was missing, of why that hand had been torn off. 

Her hand for her life. The dog's life for her life. 

Lirael sighed and looked down at the hand that fit so perfectly.

She could still see Sam's eager look when he had given it to her earlier, his explanations and apologies if it didn't fit right immediately, his reassurances that he would perfect it in time overwhelming her, making her wish for a moment that she hadn't agreed to get a new hand since it seemed all so complicated, so – big. 

And still so undeserved. But it was necessary and she knew it. Sabriel had held off going into death with her until Sam was finished with the hand, so that she would actually be able to defend herself with both sword and bells, which would not likely be required since she was going with the Abhorsen, but still, one could never be too careful in death. 

Now that she had the hand, she could see how eager Sabriel was to truly begin her training as Abhorsen-in-waiting and she herself was eager too, even though there were still doubts inside of her. 

Doubts that didn't all have to do with her new hand and the question whether she deserved it or not. Doubts that were growing more and more now that Sabriel could come every minute to get her, to go into death together for the first time.

Sure, Lirael had been in death before, alone and with the dog, she had even looked upon the ninth gate and resisted its call, but this was the first time she would go with the Abhorsen, as the official Abhorsen-in-waiting. Her first step into her new life. What if she disappointed Sabriel? What if she messed up? What if she was not ready, even with her shining new Charter hand?

Especially since that hand was still so new that she had only had a few hours of training how to hold a sword in it. It was quite responsive and easy to use but it was still not her real hand. And while everyone else had agreed that the best way for her to learn how to use it was to learn it in the environment where she would have to use it the most, in death, she was not at all sure she was ready. 

"Are you ready?"

Her sister appeared at her side and smiled. Her eyes were warm, assuring. Lirael breathed in deeply, doubts suddenly becoming immaterial, questions of deserving or not deserving the gift she had been given shrank away in the face of what was needed of her. 

The path in front of her was clear and no matter how few hours of training she had had, she would follow the path. Wherever it would lead. She smiled back at Sabriel. 

"Yes. Yes, I am ready."


End file.
